Comparing yourself with other people is a part of human nature. It’s part of understanding our environment and how we belong in that. However, in modern society the problem is that we end up comparing ourselves with more people, on a daily basis and trying to adjust our behavior, our needs and desires based on the environment. There is this person that is more beautiful than you, or the one that is thinner than you, fitter than you, more successful, travels more, or the one that has a better job. Where is the limit in all this comparison?
I will share a personal experience. I started my studies in nutrition. I was not the best student and once I graduated and started looking at my options for a masters degree, my father suggested the clinical field. The thing was that many of my classmates were choosing this field too and they were much better at it than I was. When I voiced my concerns to my father he replied that I shouldn’t compare myself with everyone else and if I wanted it I could be as good as all the rest. There was my limit. I told him I didn’t like it that much and therefore I didn’t see the reason to follow a path, in which I would have to try really hard to do something that I wasn’t really good at and I didn’t really enjoy it and this way I ended up changing my path and studying psychology, which I actually enjoy.
What happened in this example? A comparison was made, in which I realized I wasn’t as good as most of my classmates. However, instead of persisting, feeling bad about myself, and trying hard to belong to an environment that never excited me, I decided to change my environment. In this new environment I felt that I belonged, I enjoyed reading about any psychology related topic, I made very good friends, I enjoyed trying to become better.
In other words, if you start comparing yourself with other people all the time, maybe pause for a second. Check where you are, what your life looks like, what are you good at and what do you enjoy doing, what is important for you and where do you want to go? Is every aspect of your life of equal importance? Do you have to be perfect in every situation? If you didn’t try to constantly adapt to your environment to satisfy everyone else or to show a specific image, how would you like your life to be? If no one was watching, who would you be? Now, compare with that person and start walking towards that direction.
