Let’s start by clarifying that there is no one solution fits all situation here. Each person is very unique and going through the same eating disorder doesn’t necessarily mean you are going through the same problems. However, here we will see some of the most common difficulties among people with an eating disorder and I will try to provide with some guidance for each of these problems.
The most common misconception is that you will be able to treat an eating disorder, by following another strict (or not so strict) diet and by applying more control over your eating habits. The truth is the more control you try to apply the more you will feel out of control, as you will be stuck in the binging- restricting cycle. The best approach in this situation, would be to learn to listen to your body. What does your body need? When are you hungry and when full? What do you need to eat and why?
Trying different ‘tricks’ that help you cope with an overeating episode can be useful to a certain extent. What could actually be more helpful is understanding why you are eating more than your body needs. Some emotional eating is absolutely normal, but when food or controlling your calories becomes the only way of coping with emotions, then this could become a barrier in your life. So, what could food be covering up? Can you spot the causes? If not, it’s ok. You might have been using this mechanism for too long and finding the cause on your own might be difficult and asking for help from a psychologist or mental health professional might be beneficial for you. If you can understand the causes, what is it that makes it hard for you to deal with the problem? In order to help ourselves, we have to understand that food has been ‘protecting’ us from facing some hard truths, so instead of approaching it with anger, resentment or hate, it might actually be more helpful to get on its side.
Practically, that would mean being more compassionate with ourselves, even with the parts that we dislike. Instead of asking yourself with disgust or disappointment ‘Why did you eat that now?’, try asking the same question with love, curiosity and the will to understand. It takes time to overcome the judgmental parts of ourselves, but shouting at either side of ourselves to stop talking will not actually help. Both the judgemental and the compassionate sides, want what is best for us, from a different perspective and with a different technique. The key here is open communication between the two. Try to understand each part and how that part would feel safe and when they want to go to opposite directions maybe try to finding alternative routes. I understand it’s easier said than done, so take your time.
Since, we are talking about opposite directions the biggest difficulty faced might be the black-or-white way of thinking. The ‘I will do it perfectly or I won’t do it at all’ kind of thinking, might create a sense of safety but it’s rarely the way that will keep you moving forward. It sounds scary to leave this mentality behind, since it makes sure that in the things that you do, you are usually really really good. However, it stops you from exploring new things you could be good at, it creates an emotional toll, usually in the form of anxiety, and it uses a lot of your time and resources. Maybe not everything needs to be perfect. Maybe you are wonderful the way you are, with all your imperfections, and you are one step away from finding this out!
